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Monday, April 27, 2015

New Life

Hello world!

I'm back from a very long blogger hiatus. I've gone through a lot of transformation. So here's what I'll do from this point. With each blog post, I will highlight an area of life that I am transforming for my healing.
This post will be about my relationship to money.

I've had a lot of money come into and go out of my life, and I am still alive. Of course I'm alive, or else who's typing this? See, my relationship to money was that of sheer survival, more specifically, physical survival. To a degree, money is a tool that people use to reinforce or enhance their physical existence. However, I placed equal signs between money and life itself.

Money cannot buy oxygen, at least not the oxygen we breathe every day. So, rationally speaking, if I have no money, I will not immediately drop dead. However, I have discovered, thanks to Veronica Torres and Eloheim, that the survival instinct is simply doing its job when it sends the message to "don't spend that money! don't change anything!" To the survival instinct, change comes at too great of a cost.

What I've discovered about myself over the past several months, and moreso in the past couple of days, is that my attachment to keeping things the same comes from a place of low self-esteem and fear of death. In less than ten words (a short factual statement, according to Eloheim), I'd say that "I fear that change leads to death." Now, that sounds incredibly silly, but if you think about it, this is how the survival instinct is made to function. When humans were primarily tribal, they dared not travel alone or stand out from the tribe due to the greater likelihood of being spotted and devoured by someone farther up the food chain. So, everyone blended together. Other animals still operate the same way by camouflaging their bodies.

For me, change means pursuing a new career path. I've been doing the same job for a long time because it provides me a steady paycheck, and it's something in which most people (including myself) would say I have competence. However, there is that part of me that wonders what would happen if I gave my other latent skills a space to flourish.

This is a point in my life in which I choose new habits and new ways of looking at my life.

To be continued...

Saturday, September 20, 2014

I'm Possible.

What this means to me:

The building in which I work needs to be clean. Spotless. Perfect. I know how to encourage cleaners to be thorough in their practice. I can be passionate about giving everyone a positive experience. I can make people personally proud of what they do. I like to make spaces beautiful and functional. This is possible.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Unconventional Living

It has been quite a while since my last post, and I've had time to muse over my life and where I've journeyed. I titled this post "unconventional living" out of an incredible excitement that has overtaken me ever since I found Chris Guillebeau's blog "The Art of Non-Conformity."

Something in me has been stirring about why I have chosen to continue my work as a commercial office cleaner after completing my Master's in Education. I actually enjoy the work! I have learned much about my own life preferences in the past seven months of working as a janitor. I dare say that having a Master's degree does not mean that I must now become upwardly mobile.

For the longest time, I have know deep within just how I wanted to craft my life (I like the word "craft", especially since I'm into wicca). However, there was a part of me that needed permission from the "establishment" to live this way. You know, the part that says "yeah, sure, you can be a musician, but it won't put food on the table."

So, with that said, here is how I have lovingly and carefully crafted my life:
  • I make a decent living by cleaning corporate offices. I enjoy transforming spaces from drab to beautiful.
  • I use my education as a substitute teacher at a preparatory school.
  • I will further use my degree to volunteer in the classroom of a school for homeless children.
Personally, I would rather volunteer helping children in poverty than get paid to do it. In my being, the moment money comes into the picture, especially if people cannot afford to pay me, the task I once had intense passion for becomes a job, a headache, and the anxiety ensues. That may not be the case for everyone, but it is the case for me.

I will continue to write about just how unconventional my life is and has always been.

This post has given me room to breathe!


Sunday, June 24, 2012

Interview of a Gender-free Human Being


Toby was born without any internal or external reproductive organs. Toby is gender-free, and thus partially transcends third-dimensional reality.


Below is Toby's interview by Sally Jesse Raphael:

Part One     Part Two     Part Three     Part Four     Part Five


Friday, June 22, 2012

The Thirteenth Step

A message from Bashar:

All things exist now. If all things exist now, then what you call the past and what you call the future, and all of its variations in both directions, also exist at the same time. Look at it as probabilities. Nothing is chiseled in stone. It's probabilities, but they all exist. You will experience what you are the energy of. When you create a linear experience, you create a connected continuity to other realities that simultaneously coexist that you call the past and that you call the future for the sake of convenience. But they all exist right now. But the point is is that even when you create that linear connection, whoever you choose to be in the present is a completely different person from moment to moment. So when you redesign and redefine yourself as a completely different person in the present, that means that in order to actually become that person, you had to have a different past. The present changes the past!

When you define who you are right now every moment, you make new connections to other simultaneous realities that you call the past and the future. You do that every single time you change. Every single moment. So you're never the same person literally, and you ever have the same past. You only think you do. And when you stop creating that sense of continuity or you design the continuity or focus the continuity connections to serve you in the way you prefer, then you will realise that you can take the thirteenth step. And when you truly define who you are, then it's not about the fact that you changed and you no longer do that -- you never did. That was a different person. That is a different person.

For example, say you experience an addictive habit. If you truly allow yourself to fully understand that you become a new person in each moment, then you will understand that the person you are now, never had the habit. That's why there is no urge. You can see this clearly demonstrated physically in your reality in cases that doctors call "multiple personality disorder." There are documented cases on your planet of one personality having a cancerous tumor, but as soon as they shift to the next personality, they don't. There are documented cases of one personality having allergic reactions, and another personality not. There are even cases of one personality having one eye colour, and another, a different eye colour. They are literally different people. Literally!

And so are you, from moment to moment. When you really know that, then you will know that at every moment, you are at ground zero. Whatever past you want is what you get, and whatever future you want is what you get, with that person you are being, right now. 






Sunday, June 10, 2012

Science of Mind

I've finally found the spiritual path for me! I'm so excited. I did a google search for spiritual churches, and a Science of Mind church was in the results. I visited the website and the church, and now I'm hooked.

Ever since I was a child, I have perceived the world around me as an animated world, with all of nature teeming with life and intelligence. I thought I was pagan, but I did not want to limit my spiritual experience to one tradition. Though I was raised in a Christian community, I did not resonate with the idea of substitutionary atonement for wrongdoing. In my view, if and when someone mistreats another person, s/he is 100% responsible for the wrongdoing.

Science of Mind is about taking a scientific approach to spirituality. The god of Science of Mind is not a person, and has no personality. It is infinite intelligence and love that is filtered through us to the degree that we believe whatever we choose to believe. God is a presence, not a person. This totally resonates with me.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

On Childbearing

I have strong opinions, especially about having children. Sure, people can do whatever they want. If they have children, fine. However, doing so will, at this point in human history, do more harm than good to the human race and to the planet. There are now over seven billion people on the planet, and people are steadily sapping nonrenewable resources from the earth. The problem is that there are too many mouths to feed with not enough food for everyone. Not only that, there is not enough liveable space for everyone on the planet. It is not smart, nor is it moral, to add to the problem.
It is also unfair to those who do not yet exist to be forced into this mess that humanity has created just for someone else's personal satisfaction. To have a child so that s/he can take care of you when you get old is at the apex of selfishness.

The "biological clock" is a fiction. It is touted amid society because people are too afraid to make independent decisions about their lives and thus stand apart from the herd.